Chapter 10 – The Christmas Miracle

Win by the Brady, Die by the Brady

I guess the biggest miracle this year is that nobody who had Tom Brady won their respective leagues.  While Tom Brady was able to give millions of fantasy football owners hope, he stole that hope away at the very end by playing like crap in week 15, a critical playoff week.  Further, even though Emily made it through to the final round, Tom Brady was not enough to get her the win that she so desired in the JV league.  Tom Brady single handedly failed on all accounts.

 This event brings validity to the thesis of this site:  Tom Brady is an idiot.

 

As you can see by the graph above, Tom Brady’s fame has declined precipitously over the last couple of weeks, as more people find out that he is an idiot.  The immediate decline of his fame and his performance followed the his idiotic statement:  “I would have gotten the first down if I hadn’t heard the whistle,” which was probably the single most stupid thing ever uttered by a human being and we are all dumber for having now listened to it.

Final Standings – BTW World Champion

Below are my final standings in this years 4 fantasy football leagues:

1. 1800EatCrap: Number 1 of 8
2. Junior Varsity: Number 4 of 8
3. Consolation: Number 1 of 6
4. Four Gay People: Number 1 of 4 (*expected, based on a 121 point lead going into the final week)

This makes 3 number ones this year alone.  Yes, it may be luck, but I got it, and Tom Brady didn’t.  Also, this brings my two year record to 4 and 1–4 championships out of 5 leagues.  For this reason, I will continue to be known as BTW World Champion for another year.

I would also like to pay respects to a few players that I actually have respect for, as follows:

1. Joe – Great season, way to turn in a great final performance getting a silver medal in the only league that mattered (i.e. had a cash prize and real trophies.)
2. Michelle – Finally got her coveted title in the JV league, and got a top 3 place in every league she played in.  Great job.
3. Emily – Great turnaround season from last year, most improved player award from me, getting silver medal in JV.
4. Greg – Showing another very solid FF performance and beating me out of a trophy in the JV league
5. Sarra – Gets rookie of the year award for getting to the finals in the Consolation league, and coming away with the Silver in her debut season.
6. Richelle – Runner up rookie of the year.  Great performance in debut season.
7. Dan – Comeback of the year award (assuming you hold on to the silver position in the Gay League, coming back from over 200 points behind Stephen)
8. Steve – This wasn’t your year… Sorry
9. Sam – YOU SUCK!!!

 And now for my final words of this fantasy football season: Suck it, Brady!

Out!

Update: Jeff Projected to Beat Dan

Below is evidence that Jeff was at one time predicted to beat Dan this week in the playoffs in the 1800EatCrap league.

Whether it comes to pass or not is another issue.  But for one brief moment, I was projected to win.

Chapter 9 – Vindication

My 15 minutes of fame… I have made it to the final 4 in all leagues.  Yeah Baby!

 

Below is the list of people that I have beat in the playoffs and/or eliminated from the playoffs:

• Emily (Fa Kit)
• Joe (Mr Keyrock)
• Emily (4Some)

Below this are the people that will be eliminating me from the playoffs

• Emily (Fluking Weirdo) (affiliated with Tom Brady)
• Dan (Cougarettes) (affiliated with Tom Brady)
• Michelle (Reaper III) (affiliated with Tom Brady)

Ok.  That’s about it.  I guess my luck is out. 

I will now write my own epitaph.  (Sage Rosenfels just threw an interception.)

Here lies the only man that had the courage to stand up to Tom Brady and say, “F_ck You.”  He died in week 15 when Tom Brady stepped on his head.  May God have mercy on his soul and kick Tom Brady in the balls.  R.I.P.  World Champion.  And Go to Hell, Tom Brady.

I like this epitaph because it has a nice ring to it.

UPDATE:  Ok I take all that back (except all the stuff about Tom Brady).  Rosenfels and Johnson just scored.